Buying a gift for a Catholic man is harder than it looks. Search "Catholic gifts for men" and you'll see the same things again and again: rosaries, medals, mugs, t-shirts, hoodies. Some are lovely. Plenty are made as cheaply as possible, and most men already own more of them than they can use. Nearly every Catholic man I know has a rosary in the car, one on the nightstand and two more in a drawer.
So how do you choose something he'll be glad to have? Two books have shaped how I think about it.
The first is Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages. One of his five languages is receiving gifts, and for people who speak it, a present is how they know you were paying attention. It doesn't come naturally to me, so I've had to learn it.
The second is Happy Are You Poor, by Fr. Thomas Dubay, which a Franciscan Friar of the Renewal recommended to me. Dubay makes the case for living simply and giving generously, and he leaves you with a fair question: how many religious trinkets does one man need?
Between the two, I've landed on a short test. A good gift is well made, so it lasts. It's beautiful or useful, and ideally both. And if it can, it points him toward God, quietly.
The best gift I've ever gotten passes the first two. For one of our anniversaries, my wife gave me a good lighter. I use it for birthday candles, campfires, the occasional cigar and the candles on our anniversary table, and someday one of my kids will get it. There's nothing religious about it, and there didn't need to be.
That test is how we choose what we make. We start with things a man already uses: a tie for Mass, cufflinks, collar stays, a house key, a lighter, a deck of cards. Then we make them well and build the faith into them. A silk tie with the Keys of St. Peter in the pattern. Collar stays engraved with a short prayer. A house key cut from a St. Benedict medal blank. A lighter engraved with the opening of John's Gospel. None of them shout. He'll use them for years, and now and then they'll remind him of something true.
So before you reach for another rosary, think about what he picks up every day. That's usually where the best gift is.
Why a tie belongs at Mass at all: Can Catholics Claim the Necktie? If there's something you'd like to see us make, let us know. Your thoughts? Comment below.